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Single Again

from my myspace:
So my now ex-boyfriend broke up with me this morning... just when i find a way i think i won't leave and follow my habbits. shit man, this rele sucks i don't know what to do. i've tried to sleep all day but my sponsor and my friend robby won't let me. i want to cry but i cried so much last night and the night b4 that the tears wont come. i don't know what to do, i think i already said that. i need to go type in my LJ b/c i don't want everyone to know what's going on right now. Yes, another ace card! FUCK!

Now onto the real stuff.
he said he was breaking up with me so that i wont hurt him later and break up with him, talk about trust issues! i rele love him and tried my best to keep him to no avail. the night b4 last i was crying b/c devin, my last ex b4 danny, came over and wanted to ask me out and i told him i was with danny, i cried b/c i was afraid it would happen again. that i would leave danny after 2 months, i'm glad robby was there cuz he helped me through it, only b/c he was there did i not hurt or kill myself. then last night after i had told danny about what had happened with devin he told me i should go back to devin b/c he, danny, isn't good for me and he would only bring me down. he was drunk and sick, he had two 40s, 5 monsters and a tripple shot expresso from starbucks. i miss him so much that i feel like i don't even want to live w/o him, it's 6:41 and i rele need to get to a meeting but just a few more things b4 i go.... i want him back just as mnuch as i did alex and the same thing took them both from me, i HATE alcohol. i wish it never existed and i now want to cry but i can't, like i said b4. i know that all of this will work it's self out, just like my sponsor said, for the better but i can't see that right now. I't going to be really hard b/c danny still wants to be friends and i will see him at the meeting in 15 minutes but i don't know how i'm going to react. i hope this doesn't go like it did with alex, that was a week of hell and drama that sadly i will never forget but i know that all of this has some sort of a lesson in it for me. ok, gtg NOW. ttyl